When I heard about a Transformers movie I was really excited. But once I saw some teasers and previews I was sorrowfully disappointed. I will be going to see Transformers next week (thanks to a pass) and I imagine I will be entertained to some extent, but at the same time I’ll be shaking my head. I spent too much of my childhood with Transformers to accept a second-rate adaptation. I consider myself the audience for this movie because my generation made the Transformers popular in the first place.

There are many reasons why I believe Transformers will fail. Sure, it will make a big splash during the holiday weekend, but much like the other blockbusters this year, it will fall very hard and very fast.

Where are the stars?  – Who’s in this movie? There are no worth-while names being billed with this movie. From the previews I’ve only seen some teenage-looking people running around. And no, I don’t qualify Bernie Mac a star, sorry. And even if there are some cameos, there is no star power behind this movie. You can’t sell a movie on effects alone when the movie is otherwise weak (keep reading).

Corporate take over – I was most disappointed when I found that Chevrolet is the major backer of the film and thus all vehicles in the movie are Chevrolet models. This one action single-handedly ruined the movie because it forces them to break ties with the original characters. Instead of a VW bug or a Porsche we have Mustangs and Camaros. This a real shame because a lot of the original characters’ personality came from their vehicle type. Even the main character, Optimus Prime, is the wrong type of semi-truck! This may sound petty but what if they remade Bambi and instead of a deer had a skunk?

What’s the plot? I have only seen a few trailers and previews for the movie. I haven’t read any plotlines or otherwise, so based just on the media, what is the plot here? It’s obvious that some robots are mean and some are nice, but why? Are the bad robots just here because they’re mean and that’s their job? And why do some care about us humans? The original Transformers had a plot revolving around their home planet and the robots’ need for energy.

Over-designed characters – Let’s look at the cartoon. Then look at the movie version. Notice how your eyes don’t bleed from looking at the cartoon model. Now I now this is a live action film so the cartoon models wouldn’t work verbatim, but the robots are WAY over-designed and over-drawn in the new film. They are way to busy and it is hard to determine what is happening and what things are. Your eye has no time to focus and the result is a lot of confusion and overload. Looking at the new characters in robot form you can barely see how they would transform into their mobile forms. Prior you could see where parts move so you had some sort of context as to what they were as robots. Plus, we’ve lost all the color and elegance the characters once had.

I could probably think up a few more if I tried hard, but you get the idea. One good thing about the new film is they managed to retain some of the original character voices. So we know they at least tried to keep some of the classic Transformers, but why stop at voices? I know this all sounds like fan-boy anger, but that’s only the half truth.
I think you’d be surprised how well the original-style characters would have gone over with audiences and children. Everyone assumes we need complex design and action, and that’s just not always the case. I would rather have simple-but-good action over some poor-yet-pretty action.

And we can only hope this doesn’t go franchise and have sequels.

Pizza! Pizza! Little Caesars pizza has returned to prime time and is no longer just for those at your local K-Mart. A new Little Caesars just opened and will be giving Pizza Hut and Domino’s a run for their money…well, actually, my money. As a near-weekly visitor to Pizza Hut, where they know me by name, I can’t not revert to old ways when I consumed Caesars regularly…and their grand opening is awesome.

We knew Caesars was “coming soon” for a while but a flier in the mailbox sealed the deal. So I called them to order a large $5 cheese pizza for pick-up, but the response was, “you can just come pick a large cheese up.”

What?! I can just walk in a get a hot pizza? Awesome! So we did just that. I walked in and asked for a large cheese pizza and BAM!, they gave me one. Plus some classic Crazy Bread and I left as a quickly as I go there with a large pizza and breadsticks for $6.99 – you just can’t beat it.

Welcome back Little Caesars, welcome back.

I couldn’t tell when I started enjoying circus peanuts, the quaint sugar candy shaped like a giant, orange peanut. I didn’t like them when I was a kid, but now I love them. You can OD on circus peanuts very fast, but in moderation they hit spot nicely. Circus peanuts is yet another candy that I can enjoy but nobody else does – thus a candy I can take to work without having to worry about people taking them or me even needing to offer them. Black jelly beans and Good & Plenty being the other candies.

We were at Wal-mart with Mr. and Mrs. Thee and they had a good deal on a HUGE bag of circus peanuts. Our mission was to find the game Sequence, which I have never played, but instead I ended up with a one pound bag of circus peanuts, a Optimus Prime Mr. Potato Head, four boxes of movie theatre candy, and a sink strainer. It was $20 I hadn’t intended on spending, but $20 well spent all the same.

Then while playing cards it was asked what circus peanuts are made of, which received a simple answer: sugar

Then Thee came up with a theory that I wouldn’t doubt is actually true. As he explained, circus peanuts are just melted down cotton candy. You know how you put cotton candy in your mouth and it dissolves down into it a bean of pure sugar? Well, circus peanuts are just that, only shaped like a peanut. So now I’m convinced that the circus peanut factory and the cotton factory are the same place. But there is one conveyer belt that takes the cotton candy to a hair dryer on a string. The hair dryer melts down the cotton candy into a glob of sugar which is then poured into a peanut mold. Then a second later out comes a circus peanut.

If only Mr. Rogers had gone to the circus peanut factory instead of the rain coat factory.

I would wager that amongst friends you have a DVD library available to you that rivals any Blockbuster video or public library. Our tastes all vary enough that there are certainly movies that overlap, but some we otherwise would never see, let alone think to own. Thee and I have talked about a “friend library” for some time. He suggested I make a web site that does that, but I knew there had to some web app that already did. And there is.

Out of a brief searching period I found two. The better of the two is called Zestr. Zestr is a media cataloging web app where you can catalog your movies, books, games, and music. It interfaces with Amazon so when you’re looking for titles it pulls up all the information, pictures, etc. that you would want in a catalog. To help motivate the Friend Library I cataloged all my DVDs, so you friends of mine can now peruse my collection and we can swap and borrow from each other. Not a bad idea.

Of course, this whole thing only works if you, my friends, catalog your DVDs too. Cataloging is the tedious part, but nothing a good sit in front of your DVD rack with your laptop can’t solve. The search on Zestr is good and pretty quick. The workflow for searching is pretty good too, so you can easily go back-and-fourth with your searching and adding. Although cataloging will do one of two things, it will make you realize that you just don’t have many DVDs, like me – only 5 pages worth – or you have way to many.

As you finish your own cataloging, post a link here or send me mail. I’ll make a page dedicated to our Friend Library and we can begin to enjoy the fruits of each others’ spending.

• The Morning Toast DVD Library

Ever since I first saw 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea when I was little, I have loved the visual style of the late 19th century. The style of that era is great. I like it because it is very handsome and handmade but it wreaks of industrialization and excitement of science that we don’t quite yet have a grasp on yet. It’s like an exploration of what is possible, and thus can also look dangerous. And I remember the pen-and-paper RPG called “Space 1889” that had pictures of 19th century weapons and military people in flying boats. It was the industrial style juxtaposed in a future world…but I digress…the point is, this industrial revolution-era style finally has a name: Steampunk

I don’t think I like the name, but as long as it has a name that I can throw out I’m happy. Well, WIRED has a photo gallery of the “new” Steampunk design movement. There are also some other sites that feature Steampunk stylings and creations.

But some creations I’m not exactly sure why they were made. It’s one thing to pimp out your laptop to look like Steampunk, but when you’re making actual things that work in Steampunk fashion, that’s something a little over the top. One creation of note is the telegraph text reader. The video at the creator’s web site has the telegraph tapping out an RSS feed. OK…great…but why? How many people know morse code? And why would you want to get yours news in taps? But the telegraph looks great…and it does prove that you can integrate new technology with some classic style.

The only downside is that in order to make any Steampunk items you have to be well versed the art of metalwork, especially brass. So unfortunately it’s not something I can even attempt.

All in all, I think the look is just cool. It’s different yet familiar and at the same time kind of creepy. I think Jules Verne would be proud.

I’m not one that usually hops on the technology boat right away. I usually wait and see what happens and then buy in once it fleshes out and actually proves to float. But recently some things have looked so good that I just jumped in, the Wii and even Guitar Hero. But those are in the video game realm, a place I know well. A place I’m not afraid to invest in. But what about actual new technology?

I was watching HGTV the other night and they had an hour special covering this year’s CES event in Las Vegas. CES is where the world gets their first look at the technology and gadgets that will shape our future…or something like that. CES is where you hear about the next 101″ television set and the robot that will wash your dog and mow your lawn at the same time. These were all covered and discussed, but one brief highlight caught my attention.

The digital copy pen…for lack of a better term. The company is EPOS and they have made a digital pen that will save your sketches to a USB drive. The nice thing that makes me wanting one is that it is a normal pen that you can use on normal paper. You don’t have to buy special paper or digital ink or anything.

From what the web site shows, the pen uses some sort of sonar positioning technology that is constantly beaming data to a USB receiver – essentially mapping out where your pen is on the page. It can then save your drawing as an image on the USB drive. Then just hook the USB to your PC and download – simple!

I’m a person that writes on paper a lot. From drawings, doodles, system plans, and just random thoughts. My problem is I don’t carry around one common notebook or notepad. I have dozens of notebooks all over the house and at work so no matter where I end up there is always one there. But 90% of the time I will be translating those notes to the computer in some form, especially if it is a drawing sketch. Ever since the tablet PC was introduced I thought it would be great to have one and use that as my notepad that I take all over. I just jot things down there and have them forever in archive form without all the clutter of paper.

This pen doodad seems to fit right in the middle. It gets me the the feature I want without extra features I don’t. A tablet PC would be great, but I don’t need it as a laptop, per se, I just want a place where I can doodle electronically. The EPOS web site doesn’t say anything about when this USB digital pen will be available, hopefully soon, but floating around is an $80 price tag, which I could totally buy into.

This technology is one of those things that seems like should have been available (and affordable) quite some time ago. I’m glad someone finally made it happen and hope they stay in business long enough for me to get one.

Even though the Silversurfer movie was #1 this weekend, and even thought I haven’t seen it, I know the movie is awful. You don’t have try hard to see that it is a worthless sham of a classic comic book – ultimately forgettable. And it seems like it’s just going to get worse because Marvel Comics has decided to make their own movies.

Right now, studios buy the rights to the comic book characters. This way Marvel gets to keep the money the movies rake in. But when you release mediocre movies you’re going to get mediocre returns. Movies like Hulk, Ghost Rider, and next year’s Iron Man just fizzle out because they are fringe characters and otherwise just crappy movies. This miss the masses because people don’t know the characters, and the nerds don’t bite because the movies typically butcher the story and characters.

This type of move can only mean one thing: the comic book movies are done. They are already almost over-saturated in the theatres. Every year there is some comic book being made into a movie. So what do we need? More comic book movies, of course. Let’s just keep whipping the horse until it falls apart.

I understand why they want to make their own movies, but sorry Marvel, you missed the boat.

Back before parental warnings and TV-PG ratings, there was Mr. Wizard. He was blowing stuff up and telling us how to do it way back when Nickelodeon was worth watching. I know Mr. Wizard had a show way back in the day, but I’m of the 80s Mr. Wizard generation. I was bummed when I found out about the death of Mr. Wizard, Don Herbert. Of course, I think I thought he was already dead, but nonetheless, it was a bit saddening. It was even more saddening when I exclaimed in disbelief the event and the people sitting next me didn’t recall immediately who Mr. Wizard was.

Way before Bill Nye and Beakman, Mr. Wizard brought household science to the under-aged. Mr. Wizard taught me that fire was cool and fun, and that I could make a rocket out of a pop bottle. Whereas The Science Guy and Beakman take a kooky-wacky approach to making science interesting, Mr. Wizard cut through all the shit and proved to you that science could be fun without all the production. He didn’t need sound effects or animated co-hosts…oh no…The Wiz would just blow stuff up and you knew it was cool. Mr. Wizard had my attention the entire time.

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I can best relate Mr. Wizard to the Mythbusters these days. Not a lot of glitz or shine, just some good, old fashioned, entertaining hard science. Mr. Wizard also showed you that you can be average and have fun with science. You don’t need a lab coat or flasks, you just need a milk jar, a ping-pong ball, and a mouse trap. Mr. Wizard reminded you of your grandpa, that is, if your grandpa was really cool and demonstrated neat science in the kitchen sink.

I remembering envying the kids that were on his show. They were so average looking and thus I sat and thought, “hey, I’m better at it than that nerd!” But alas, the casting call never came. Words such as “wicked” started to enter my vocabulary during the Mr. Wizard days, and I longed to find out what else I could destroy with nothing more than a bicycle pump.

Thank you, Mr. Wizard, for introducing me to destructive-yet-cool science. You may be imitated, but never duplicated.

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…and I make this my official first vote for having a Classic Nickelodeon channel added to cable. It would show all the 80s shows, like Mr. Wizard, You Can’t Do That on Television, Today’s Special, Pinwheel House, and some Danger Mouse, just for good measure.

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are two very different characters. They share some goals and mindsets for their businesses, but each is very unique in their approach and character. They say pet dogs start to look like their owner (or vice versa), but this can be clearly seen with Apple and Microsoft as well.
I can only imagine the things both Bill and Steve have seen in their 30+ years in the computer industry. They could each write an entire book for each year they’ve been involved with computers and each book would be fascinating, I’m sure (and long). We often talk about them as opposite sides of the same coin and are rarely within the same camera space, but a recent interview a conference put them rubbing elbows and sharing their thoughts.

It is a lengthy series of videos covering the interview. I watched the first three during my lunch break (the rest now) and once again I find Steve Jobs a fascinating character…because he just talks. At one point in the interview Bill starts to tell a story and Steve interupts and says “let me tell this story” and he just gets right into it.

I think you have two VERY different personalities between the two. Steve is obviously a very overt and confident person. Bill is a little more quiet. Steve can orate with the best of them. Bill stumbles and gets lost in his own detail. You can tell that Steve Jobs is great at thinking on the fly. Bill tries to tell you too much and ends up missing the point.

As I was observing their different mannerisms and topics, I started to wonder what would happen if they had ended up being partners in the same company. Bill seems to be a very tech-side minded guy, worried about the bits and bytes. Steve is a more experience-driven guy that is concerned more with how people will use the products. Both views are essential to making any product. They would ideally be the ultimate team. The best of form and function. But alas, we are far from that point.

Whenever I have to speak to a group of people I try to think about Steve Jobs. I want that type of excitement when I’m trying to tell people something. I don’t want his arrogance, per se, but I want/need people to believe that I believe my own bullshit. There’s nothing worse that listening to someone trying to push something on you that they have no faith in. Steve Jobs seems to always know what to say and how to say it. He speaks just enough tech to keep the nerds happy, and he speaks just enough layman to convince non-techs that what he has is the best (and last) thing they’ll ever need. And it’s worked.

At one point both are asked to talk about what they think about the other. I found it interesting because Bill mentioned a trait of personal trait of Jobs, his decision making and judgment skills. But when Jobs was asked, he mentioned a business trait of Microsoft, nothing personal relative to Bill.

Otherwise…the interview of Gates and Bill had some of the worst phrased/delivered questions I’ve ever heard. The two people asking the questions were awful. And even though it was probably an act, it seemed that both Steve and Bill looked like they couldn’t believe such questions were being asked – not because they were after super secrets, but because it was very specific. It seemed like the two interviewers were taking the sphere more seriously than either Gates or Jobs.

It is a great watch/listen and collectively is about an hour or so of footage. I personally enjoy listening to Steve Jobs talk. It’s just fascinating. But the interview is a great look into some history and some thoughts on the future straight from the horses.

Sometimes we just need a reboot. Something that can reset your thoughts, your worries, and your outlook. I was working on yet another exploration into making a video game and got the part about artificial intelligence – you know, the stuff that makes the computer think for itself. Well, it’s rather complicated and way above my head. I started to research it and got frustrated with progress and just got tired of it.

I’ve had problems recently in staying on task with any computerized project, whether video game, web site, or other dabblings. So I think I’m going to stop for a while. Instead I think I’m going to revert back to some basics – art. Actually, no thinking on this – I already started. I made a painting.

I hadn’t painted anything since college but last year got a kick to want to paint so I got a bunch of paint, brushes, and other supplies needed to make some paintings. But did I paint? No. Again, my initial excitement sputtered out and I debated too long to decide what/how I wanted to do.

Today I changed that. After helping Thee move into their new house, I took three hours and made a painting. It felt pretty good to paint again, and especially good to get something completed!

Maybe I’m just in a state of technological burn out…who knows. Doing it at work for 40 hours week is enough and that keeps me happy. When I came home and tried my own projects I found the difference in the way I do things and work and the way I do things at home to be too different to keep me happy. At work I’m efficient with creative juice to spare. At home that all went to pot because I tried to make things better than before and better than I do at work. The result was I really overcomplicated what I was doing because I was trying too hard to make a change (and make it “right”). The other catch was that my online ventures had zero overhead except time, so if it failed I wasn’t out any valuable resources – time to suck it up, I guess.

Hopefully painting will be a good outlet for fixing this rut and I might actually get some of other non-computer things done that I’ve been saying I want to do for a long time. The best part is I can start and finish a painting in a day or two – the perfect instant-gratification project.

The painting itself I like pretty well, at least for the first painting in several years. My thoughts for this painting and future paintings is commercial abstract art – the type of paintings you see when you go into Pier 1 and think, “I’d like that above my couch,” but then see the price tag and keep moving. Well, whenever I saw those pictures I said, “well hell, I can paint that,” but never did. No more. It’s a start at least.

So if any one needs a painting for their mantle or office, let me know and we’ll work something out. But I’m not interested in painting “things” or subjects. I just want to make paintings that serve one purpose, filling up space on a wall with color.

Sometimes you just need to return to your roots and start over. It’s healthy.

When boiled down, most problems in the world come down to the one thing: people. In some cases the problem is there are too many people, and sometimes it is because there are not enough people. Having worked for the same company for nearly seven years now, I am continually amazed (although I shouldn’t be) that they seemingly fail to realize the common factor to most of their problems is people – in this case, the lack of people…the right people.

Since I switched companies within the enterprise there has been a lot of, shall we say, drama revolving around my move. It seems some people were not happy with my move from one side of the tracks to the other. Prior to my switching of positions my day mostly consisted of “internet research”, or as most would call it, sitting on my ass doing nothing. I sat pretty much unused for upwards of three months before I finally got fed up and called it quits. And now that I switched seats and got a new web site up and designed in my first 90 days of employment, people are taking notice. I don’t know why they didn’t take notice before, they knew I was there…now they’re baffled and trying to “steal” me away from my happy position.

This scenario is rather complex and unless you know the workings of the company (which some of you do) a lot of this won’t make much sense. Of course, that’s one of the big problems here, it just doesn’t make sense. See, their problem is they have barely any staff with the skills necessary to run, design, build, and manage a family of web sites. Myself and at most three other people really know what we’re doing. The others kind of just bob in the wind telling people what they want without really knowing what they want. Most of them are in the role of philosophers that say things like, “we need cars that run on water,” and then expect someone else to figure it out. They’re not sure how to reach the goal, they just know they need to. The result is shitty results and a lot of questions.

And I’m caught in the middle and I’m tired of it. I’ve been in the middle drama since I started here and it is all because I’m one of the few that have a toolbox of skills to make things go. This isn’t bragging…I don’t take pride knowing I’m one of a two or three that can do things the “right” way. It’s actually quite shameful that the company I work for doesn’t see that they need to hire more people with the right skills. If they did, a lot of their problems would be solved.

Now I know you’re probably thinking, “but hiring people costs a lot of money and they just don’t want to spend the money.” This is true, but they do hire people – the wrong people. Instead of hiring the designers, developers, and the support people they need to make a web site work, they hire “content people.” I know content producers are needed, but they are overloaded with producers and it doesn’t matter if the content quality is good or bad if the vehicle doesn’t run well. The saying goes, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” but you and I both know that the cover DOES make a difference. And unless that cover gets the job done, few people are even going to bother opening the book.

A successful web site needs a focus and needs people to keep that focus. Unless you have a stable and reliable team, you cannot run multiple web sites out of one shop and expect each to be of top quality. Spreading resources too thin and trying to do too much with not enough is a very easy line to cross because you easily see how it saves on expenses. But if places would make the extra expense, they would see a larger return and would thus offset that cost and keep things running smoothly.

People, people, people. It’s all about people. Investing in good people (and more than a couple) will yield good results; better products, happier customers, and more revenue.