If you’ve followed my Twitters and even tuned in to the recent CAVEradio episode, you already know that I gave Transformers 2 a piss poor review. I had free passes to see the midnight showing on opening night and while the price was right for the tickets, the ultimate price of losing three hours of life was all wrong.

Transformers 2 is a typical sequel…only worse. They upped the number of robots, explosions, battles, and even time. This near-three hour movie is one of the most ridiculous sci-fi/action movies I’ve seen in a long time. And considering this is Transformers, which is already pretty ridiculous, it means this is just out right silly.

I don’t want to give out any spoilers for those of you that will waste your money anyway, but let me sum up what is good about the film and get that out of the way.

The Good

There are lots of giant robots and lots of giant robot fighting. This is good and exactly what we wanted to see.

The Bad

However, one thing that makes the robot fighting almost nausiating is that the camera doesn’t stop moving. At all. There are very few wide shots that give you perspective on the action. And all the mid/close-up shots are so tight and have so much motion it is really hard to focus and enjoy whatever it going on. Even boring scenes like a person staring into space is done with a rotating camera. It’s just hard to watch.

There is a little too much “focus group” in this movie. You can tell they went out after the first Transformers film and asked everyone what they liked. Everyone said “we like the little robots that make cute noises,” so in typical sequel fashion they amped up the tiny, cute robots that make tiny, cute sounds. It’s just annoying, really.

But the thing that makes Transformers 2 really fail are the number of moments that take you out of the Transformers universe. Going in to the film you have to suspend your disbelief quite a bit, which is fine and great. The movie starts pretty solid and you’re deep in the Transformers world. But too many times throughout the film there are moments that kick you out of the trance and make you go, “woah, hey, what just happened,” and, “what the? who’s that guy?”

Once or twice, fine, this is fantasy afterall, but when it happens consistenty it just makes for a very bumpy ride. And trying not to spoil things too much, there is actually point in the film when a characters says to another character, “tell me the plot,” and then proceeds to do just that. If there is ever a moment in a film where characters have to spell things out so bad that they actually ask for the plot…that’s not good.

Optimus Prime Weeps

Think of Transformers 2 as more in line with Pirates of the Carribean 2. A lot of flash, a lot of spectacle, but in the end you’re left with an empty stomach and an angry wallet.

If you enjoyed the first Transformers film like I did, then this sequel will severly disappoint and even frustrate you. It’s frustrating because you know it could have been made better. I just hope they can bring things back with the third, and hopefully last, Transformers film.

As a friend said, just wait for the DVD, rent it, then regret it.

And if you want some more insight to this review, just listen to the CAVEradio replay of “Raincheck.” The review comes in the second hour of the show.