Lets start with the basics…action figures. I had so many action figures as a kid I just can’t even begin to count. If I had some sort of check list in front of me I could tell you which ones I had, but safe to say I had dozens upon dozens from various franchises, GI Joe being my favorite. But that doesn’t I mean I wasn’t without the lame action figures, like a space pirate and Burt Reynolds?

Knowing is half the battle

It’s kind of say to think about all the GI Joe figures I had and now all that’s left is 2 and 3/4 of them. I remember most of my GI Joe figures and vehicles vividly. Getting them for Christmas and birthdays was always a happy moment. I had far more figures than vehicles, but unfortunately there were not vehicles in the box. If I could fine my Cobra HISS it would take a place of honor at home or work, that’s for sure.

I never got into swapping body parts with my GI Joes like some friends did. They would unscrew the figures and switch heads, legs, bodies and create new bastard creations that could fight for good AND evil. I kept my figures as they came out of the box. But that’s not to say I didn’t do my share melting and exploding figures. I was also a pro at losing the accessories…guns, backpacks, helmets…you name it, I lost it.

PHOTOS: See more photos on the Morning Toast Flickr page

Along with GI Joe, I had a nice collection of Star Wars figures too. Several of them are still alive and well living in an attic with a ton of other Star Wars toys, but a few managed to survive in The Box. Okay, well, maybe “survive” isn’t the right word at all. The only Star Wars items found was an R2-D2 that suffered the fate of my “creative” years when I painted a lot of my toys. Otherwise, all I found was C3-PO’s right arm, Lando’s staff weapon, and Princess Leia’s disguise helmet. By the way, that helmet was awesome because it was rubber so you could put it on just about any action figure, GI Joes included. That helmet made the rounds.

It’s a bug, no, wait, it’s a robot!

Of course, we can’t talk action figures without talking about Transformers. I had a good share of Transformers and many of them are now dust in the wind too. I have a nice Jetfire at work in my office and that’s about it. In The Box I found an Insecticon, which was a horrible idea if you ask me. By this point I think the Transformers had started to jump the shark. I wasn’t a fan of any of the “living thing” Transformers, like the Insecticons, Dinobots, or anything like that. I wanted cars, spaceships, and weapons.

Along with the Insecticon was a little mini-Transformer hovercraft Autobot. I think I got this as a birthday present one year. Overall, it’s a pretty lame Transformer. It’s vehicle mode is far better than it’s robot mode. I mean, he didn’t have any legs!

There weren’t any Go-Bots in The Box, but I know I had a few. But what I did find in The Box was the bastard offspring of Transformers and GI Joe - MASK. MASK was also a cartoon that featured GI Joe-like guys fighting each other in vehicles that could “transform” from one thing to another. The only MASK toy I had was a motorcycle-helicopter. The vehicle was pretty cool but the figure, which I lost, I remember was really small and barely articulated. It’s safe to say I tried to jam my GI Joes into this moto-copter.

I didn’t get big into comic books until a little later in life around junior high, but I do remember getting a Wolverine figure for Christmas one year when I was little. He was “lone wolf” Wolverine at this point, sans X-Men attire, and came with a sidecar motorcycle. It was blue. He also had a shield and his trademark claws…all of which have been lost to time. The motorcycle was pretty sweet because you could but a dude in the sidecar. Unfortunately, the Marvel figures were quite a bit bigger than GI Joes, so the motorcycle wasn’t quite compatible with them, but I did my best. It’s a good looking figure despite not being very articulated. This figure is stamped 1984.

PHOTOS: More action figures over at the Flickr page

And now we get to the unknowns

First off, what I can only assume is a space pirate. This guy is stamped Ruby-Spears 1995, so I know it was a cartoon but I don’t remember which one. I don’t remember being a fan of any space pirate cartoon, so I can only assume this was a random purchase made by my mother…I’m sure it was on sale. The figure isn’t articulated at all, but he is pretty buff with a bitchin’ belt buckle. He’s got a giant visor like my grandmother uses when driving, so I will assume this guy is either blind or it’s some special HUD helmet thing. There aren’t even any hand holes, so he never held accessories either. Lame.

At last but not least…Burt Reynolds? I don’t remember playing with Burt Reynolds all that much. He’s stamped Fisher Price 1974, so this cowboy probably came with a car or truck vehicle. And if it wasn’t a Trans-Am then I’d be disappointed.

The thing is, Smokey and The Bandit didn’t come out until 1977, so this figure predates that movie. It’s just too weird that this figure looks so much like Burt Reynolds. I guarantee you I thought this figure was super lame when put in context of 8-year-old Brian and all his GI Joes. Without a doubt Fisher Price Burt Reynolds died first in EVERY battle. He probably got run over a lot by my Cobra HISS.

But being Burt Reynolds, you know he was a good sport when it came to playing with the other action figures. It looks Burt and Wolverine got along just fine.

I think there may be life after death for Fisher Price Burt Reynolds. I think he deserves a Facebook fan page or something. I must search out other people with Fisher Price Burt Reynolds. We must unite. And somewhere along the line, we’ll find out if it really is supposed to be Burt Reynolds.