Thanking dad

And now it’s time to thank dad.

Like many dads, my dad did a lot of working while I did a lot of growing. He worked the late shift so he was often gone before I got home from school and he didn’t get back until late, usually after I was in bed. So while mom more or less monopolized by time, the time spent with dad was all the more special because it always seemed like an event.

If there’s one thing my dad shared with me on the weekends when we were mom-less, it was culture. I’m not talking going to the museum or checking out the symphony, I mean real culture, the culture that matters - pop culture.

My dad wasn’t exactly the active type, so while some kids were probably being taught how to gut a fish, change a tire, or shooting skeet, I was the learning what it took to be a man off the court. For the most part that meant TV and movies. And by dad being blessed with the gift of gab (which he also shared with me), every TV and movie we watched was an eduction in itself. I was told about every actor, every scene, and the history of every aspect of the film. It was quite impressive. You might think the bonus material on DVDs is a new thing, well I had bonus material with my movies since I was 5 years old.

I’m not ashamed to say that I always looked forward to Saturdays with dad because it usually meant watching pro wrestling in the morning and having McDonald’s for lunch. And when I wanted to see movies at the theatre, dad was my partner in crime. I remember going to see the Transformers movie and I was stoked. I was 8 years old and this was the movie to see. After watching that movie 20 years later and seeing just how bad the movie is, I will take this time to apologize to dad. Not only was it bad, it was as confusing as hell if you weren’t a kid.

Many of the things I love today are ones I first shared with my dad. It sounds like the most typical list of Things Only Men Like, but without dad I may have gone without enjoying the finer things in life, like The Three Stooges, pro wrestling, old movies, electronics, and cars. So even though dad was at work most of the time, he took care of all the important things that would make me a man…all the things mom is still not well versed in.

On top of knowing that Curly was better than Shemp, my dad also has this inherent trait to trust most people. He lets people do their thing and trusts they do it to the best of their ability, despite him being a complete pessimist. Of course, my dad also possesses the power of quick judgement, which, is often considered a “bad” practice, but he is usually right. While I try to reserve judgement a little more than my father, I have grown to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes their own skills. And I think that’s something we’ve all lost these days.

Everyone now tries to do everything. Instead of being really awesome at one thing, we try to be okay at everything. This is one philosophy I’m glad I got from my dad because it’s helped me accomplish everything I’ve done to this point. My dad pretty much had the same job for 30 years and he’s damn good at it. He might not be able to make a grilled cheese, but that’s okay because that wasn’t his gig. If he needed his car fixed, he went to the car guy. His roof fixed, the roof guy. Grilled cheese, find the grilled cheese guy. They’re the pros, let them do it. You need to recognize when you’re not the best at something, but at the same time you have to know what you are good at, and stand by it until the end.

But if you asked my dad for help, you could bet the farm he’d be there to do his best, even if wasn’t something he considered himself good at. As an adult I’ve come to see that even though my dad’s not a “people person,” he knows the value of making friends and being there for them. It’s not the quantity of people you keep near you, it’s the quality. Respect them and help them and you’ll get the same in return.

When you boil it down, my dad was a dad. He worked hard, relaxed hard, and was the enforcer around the house - all the things a dad is supposed to be. He wasn’t worried about being cool or looking cool to other people. He didn’t try to be Superdad, he was just a super dad.

I love you, dad.