Yoda’s last ride

The downside to being at the midnight showing of Revenge of the Sith was having to a) go to work the next day, and b) tell everyone how it was on several occasions. I wish I had written one sheet and just handed it out. And I’ll say here what I’ve told everyone that asked how it was. It was good. It was what I expected, but not what I had hoped.

The movie was consistent with Episodes I and II in characters, acting, and lousy writing. Once again Ewan comes out the man to beat in terms of acting. Of course, Ewan is a good actor to start with, so but him next to the not-so-hot Hayden and Natalie Portman and even I could look like a star. As with Episode II, just about every scene with Portman in it, either solo or with Hayden, is just out right laughable. There were rows of fans snickering out loud with everyone word that came out of their mouths. George Lucas has vision up the butt, but he just can’t write good dialogue.

On the good side, it looked better than the previous two films and Yoda finally looks decent. He looks more like a Muppet than ever. So we’ve gotten to the point where we’ve spent 25-years working hard to get the look we had 25-years ago - explain that one.

The movie does answer many of the checklist items we all have in our heads when we go in to the film. How they are answered was less than satisfactory. Because Lucas dragged his feed in Episode II and just didn’t get on with things, he had to really squeeze a lot into Episode III, and you feel rushed. Yes, the scenes are big, extravagant and look great, but the transitions are weak if there at all and you start in scene A, cut to scene B, then go back to scene A and feel like you missed something. The movie runs two and a half hours, but had he just made go a full three hours he could have filled in some gaps and made it just that much better.

The biggest downer in my book is the lack of Darth Vader. I mean, Darth Vader Darth Vader - mask and all. You find out the how and why, but you just don’t see enough. Some other big questions on the mental checklist are also answered very blatantly without much hazzah or explanation. I just picture George writing out the story and going, “Shit, I forgot to tell what happens to C3-PO and R2-D2. Hmmmm….OK, there,” and the solution is one line that reads “Leave the droids standing in the hall next to the captain.”

So the movie was good and far better than the previous outings in this prequel series. Star Wars fans won’t be entirely happy but did we really expect to? It hits all the things it needs and is very entertaining, so it did its job.

Once again, however, I paid the piper to see the midnight showing with yet another wait in line. Unlike the great Episode I camp out of 1999, we got in line at 6:30p at the theatre and the line was already around the corner and heading to the back parking lot. Fortunately, they let my theatre in to sit at 9:00p, so we only had to wait outside for three hours, then a nice quasi-comfortable and entertaining wait inside for another three hours.

Inside it was like junior high camp; about 500 strangers all packed into a room with a common purpose with nothing to do, so we had to make our own fun. And when you put a bunch of Star Wars nerds in a room and tell them to make their own fun, which comes in the form of 4th graders having lightsaber battles and others asking trivia questions to the entire theatre.

Also keep in mind this was a theatre filled with many Star Wars costumed folks, kids included. However, some mad props have to go out to this one dude that cam as R2-D2. He was probably in college and had a white t-shirt with the R2-D2 stripes on it, then on his head his mom’s silver mixing bowl with blue tape cut to look like R2’s dome and a red, blinking bicycle light. It was by far the most original costume I’ve seen. He got more photo ops than the guys dressed in full Jedi garb.

The audience as a whole was a great sociology experiment. You had your 300 or so people that had waited in line all day and filled most of the theatre by 9:00p, then you had your yuppie posers showing up at like 11:00p and looking bewildered that they can’t find a seat open. Idiots. So all these folks ended up in the first six rows where they belong. The entire front section looked like a cast part for the OC. Once again, people watching turned out to the best form of entertainment until show time. That and filking, of course.

The great saga for Star Wars has come to end. No more conventions. No more film hype or film lines…for now; which is fine with me, because every time I watch one of the prequel films I want to watch one of the original films to remind myself why I like Star Wars. Although it will be interesting to watch all six films in order once that box set finally arrives.

We’ll talk actual movie later.