The gangster’s briefcase

So I’m watching a little bit of Face/Off inbetween my regular Sunday shows. I come across a part where the Russian mob boss askes the other bad guy for “the case”. He goes over and takes a big metal case out of the floor boards. The other guy hands the first guy your standard issue metal briefcase full of money. It’s some outrageous amount of non-sequential, unmarkd bills. Every stack is nicely wrapped with a bank wrap and fills the briefcase perfectly…perfectly!

Each stack of stacks goes just to the top of the briefcase from corner to corner. Now what are the odds of that? Seriously, here. You get a million dollars in case and have to stuff it into a briefcase. In what denominations do you get a million dollars of cash in? Hundreds? Fifties? Eitherway, that’s a lot of cash. And there’s a set amount of each bill per wrapped stack - so, you know, like one-hundred $100 bills per stack or something? It’s not going to be arbitrary…that wouldn’t make sense.

So we have a fixed number of stacks to make the total amount, each wrapped and labeled, and you’re telling me that amount fits into the briefcase perfectly? Bah. I think the gangsters have to get the cases specially made. They let Mario the Briefcase-maker know they are going to have $1 million in $100 bills and he makes it accordingly. That’s the only way. You’re not going to go to Babbages and get a briefcase that fits cash perfectly. There would be some holes or uneven stacks.

This means somewhere out there is a little, unimposing, unsuspicious store that custom makes steel briefcases just for the mob and other mercenaries that have to hall around incredible sums of money. Let’s face it, as a mobster your briefcase has to look nice. If you have holes in your money stacks the guy you’re buying off will think you’re jippin’ him and that’s not good for either side.

Of course, my solution would be to forgo the metal briefcase altogether and just use a sack or something. A Kroger bag is by far the most inconspicuous thing you can put your money. No one is expecting that. You’re walking around with a steel briefcase people are gonna know something is up - you’re just asking for trouble. A satchel or backpack…something other than a briefcase. Plus, then you don’t have to get with Mario to get one made. He books up fast, so you might have to wait on an order, which isn’t good if the drop is in six hours.