Less poker, more Hot Wheels

From what I can tell, I’ve been collecting Hot Wheels cars since 2001. I’ve been playing with Hot Wheels since I was knee-high, of course, but I’ve been spending my own cash on them for over six years. I enjoy looking at them and playing with them, but there’s always something more I’ve wanted to do and at the same time try to share the joy with others. Because, in fact, I believe all guys have an attachment to Hot Wheels that hits them to the core, much like LEGOs or army men.

I’ve been exploring what can be done to add a little more “adult” fun to Hot Wheels. While exploring and doing some Hot Wheels searching I had a thought. Actually, I’m just trying to adapt an idea I saw being used for children’s parties: drag racing.

Think pinewood derby but with Hot Wheels.

All in all that doesn’t sound so exciting, but what if we made it “interesting” with wagers and cash prizes?

I’ve always shunned poker parties because it requires too much thought, too much skill, can cost a lot, and takes way to long. I need a betting game that is fast and requires more sheer luck or simple decisions that mental warfare or bluff tactics. For one, I’m not good at it, and for two I think it’s silly. Of course, betting on Hot Wheels is probably the silliest thing I’ve ever heard of…but I think it’s worth a shot.

The first trick is of course the race track. It needs to be long enough to provide some chance in picking the right Hot Wheels car, and that requires track. And boy, you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get your hands on some Hot Wheels plastic race track - you know, the track you had as a kid that you connected together with the little plastic popsicle sticks that you lost. It seems they don’t sell just track anymore, it only comes in new playsets with loops, shooters, jumps, and car washes. I just want straight track that I can line up and let it fly.

My first stop was eBay. There are seemingly always a few auctions up where someone is selling a lot of straight track. Unfortunately, it can get pretty expensive for not a lot of track, like $30 for 20-feet. I found one auction that had a good length of used track but I got out bid at the last second by samsmom1125… damn you! Of course, I’m not a good eBayer at all.

Next I searched the net looking for unofficial Hot Wheels track. I found a few places that make their own track, but they don’t seem to sell it retail. They just make it for themselves. Good for them, but share the fun, ey?

So while I’m still trying to figure out the race track situation, I have thought a bit about the rules for such an event…and these are all up for debate…

People playing can race by either buying their own stock mainline Hot Wheels car at a store, or they can choose one from the house collection. Entering a car in the race costs $1.00 which goes into the pot.

Match-ups are chosen randomly and the person that wins best 2 out of 3 races moves on. Loser is out.

You keep having races until one person is left as the winner. The 2nd place finish gets their entry fee back, the winner gets whatever is left in the pot. It’s as simple as that.

Of course, there are other more detailed rules that would have to be made, like maximum allowance to spend on a car. Cars can’t be altered…stuff like that, just to keep everyone on the level. Any person can actually enter more than one car too, each costs $1, it just depends on how much they want to stack the deck.

The best part is Hot Wheels racing is entirely simple and easy to play. You don’t need to know if two aces are better than three kings and you get to play in every round, none of this folding crap or blinds where you pay but don’t play. And in the end, you get a Hot Wheels car…or maybe you’ll start looking at Hot Wheels a little differently next time you’re in Target…now you’ll be looking for what could be a fast car.

And of course, it’s cheap. Basic Hot Wheels cost a $1 at most and with a simple $1 entry fee, the most you spend is $2. Of course, if you win the pay out is a little smaller, but that’s why you race more than once. A full set of races could probably be wrapped up within a half hour, whereas in cards you’ll be playing for hours upon hours, and lord help you if you’re out early and have to find something to do while the others continue to play. With racing, even if you lose you’ll be back in playing in no time.

Cards are too involved for me. I guess I’m just too simple for cards. They’re no fun and take too long. I think everyone can get into the simple racing of Hot Wheels cars. It’s more like pool than cards. Low entry barrier that makes it easy to start, but you can make it as complicated as you want without too much effort or overhead otherwise.

Now if I can just come up with a good idea for a simple, portable, and affordable drag strip.